The #2 Pencil

Like I said in my last post, the next few would, funny enough, involve the color yellow.  A happy color that I love.  Let me just say that I have always been fond of a good sharpened, pink eraser and all, no.2 pencil!

Remember in math class when you were told you MUST use a no. 2 pencil?  Many kids rolled their eyes at that, but not I.  Seeing as how my very favorite subject was math I was very happy when it was time to get out my no. 2 pencil.  Later on as a math teacher, I was very appreciative when my students followed my directions to use their no. 2 pencil.  Why must we use a pencil?  Because a pencil has this lovely little pink thing called an eraser!  It can hide all the mistakes.  Don't you wish we could have an eraser in life?  Yes, I may be a math nerd, but in many ways I think life is like a math problem and hopefully you are using your no. 2 pencil!  You are not meant to get through most long math problems quickly and without mistakes.  But the point is to learn along the way, erase and re do it correctly.  Same with life.  As long as you have your no. 2 pencil out in life, when you make a mistake, you learn where you went wrong and next time that same situation comes up, you erase the way you handled it last time and you re do it.  It may take several chances, but (as I tell my son when he does his homework) you have to erase well!  Mistakes are wonderful.  Mistakes are how we learn.  No one is perfect, but we all try to make it look that way.  It's okay if you see those little shreds of the eraser left behind or a tiny smudge of graphite that just would erase away!  

These days a no. 2 pencil has new meaning in my life.  My little family is a military family.  My husband is a helicopter pilot in the United States Navy.  A phrase that I say DAILY to my husband (who at this time is not deployed, thank the Lord) is "what do you have tomorrow?"  What I mean by that is do you have a flight?  How many flights?  What time do you brief?  What other tasks and meetings do you have?  When it comes down to it though all I want to know is....what time are you leaving in the morning and what time will you be home?  My husbands schedule day to day is not know until around 5 or 6 pm the night before.  Sometimes he has to fly at 5:45 am and sometimes he has a night flight and will leave for work at noon and not be home until 10pm.  Sometimes he even has to work all day on a saturday fixing a helicopter OR has watch all day sunday...that's the most difficult to accept.  Our lives have to be lived day by day.  It's nearly impossible to have any type of routine.  I have to constantly break appointments with people and offices and whenever I make an appointment I know there is a chance it will not work out.  As much as my husband wouldn't want to hear this, we cannot rely on him being there.  (Let me insert that we do however rely on his love and care which is more important).  So, awhile back I had to learn to write everything in my planner in pencil.  Things are always changing and being rearranged.  Even deployments change.  I've been getting to know the Navy since 1998.  When my husband, then boyfriend was on a 6 month deployment he was supposed to be home in the end of June.  I set up a surprise for him and bought him tickets to his favorite band, Dave Matthews in mid July.  I was in college and the tickets were expensive for me!  His return day kept getting moved by a few days until finally he came home July 30th, completely missing the concert.  That final month being told over and over again that it would be another week and another week, etc, it almost broke us up.  It was hard.  I'd love to say to you that I've gotten used to it, but it never gets easier.  With my second baby, on my due date I still didn't know where I would deliver her because we were supposed to move across the state within days.  In the end, we moved with my week old baby and lived in a hotel with a newborn, 3 year old and dog for weeks.  Can you imagine the city you live in when your baby is being born being PENCILED in your planner?

I have learned over and over again to use my no.2 pencil for everything in our lives.  But that is a lesson in itself.  I've accepted and learned to love my penciled in life.  If anything it has taught me to live life day by day.  Each morning God instructed the Israelites to wake up, go out of their tents and collect their manna.  Exodus 16:2 says, "Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Behold , I am about to rain bread from heaven for you, and the people shall go out and gather a day's portion every day.'"  There is a big lesson here, but to keep it simple God will give us everything we need to get through the day.  He is not limited by time or a schedule.  I have to live day to day.  I cannot be sure of what I am doing tomorrow.  I don't know if my husband will be home for me to make it to my hair appointment.  I don't know if he'll make it home to Brandon's baseball game so that I can take Allie to her soccer practice.  And even though God has me in this life where I have to move every couple of years and don't know a soul in a new city, He has a reason.  He's teaching me that I may not be able to rely on my husband and I may not have family or even a friend to depend on, YET I have God, and He is all I need each and everyday.  I can, without a doubt, write GOD in my planner in permanent marker.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Another BIG lesson I learned early on in this military journey is that age old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  I'm very excited to dive into this one....see you soon!